Babies Love Me!

A few pics I took yesterday at Legion Park. Theses are the kids of two middle school teachers. Caden is my team leader's little boy. He loves having his picture taken...can't you tell? Thought they turned out pretty well.

A funny thing happened...

After my post about my hair, my siblings started commenting and sending pictures. In all fairness, I already had Erica and Scott's, but Thad sent his head shot once he read the blog. I thought it was CRAZY that I received/took pictures of my siblings' hair-dos all within a two week period. I suspect some negative feedback from all of them once they see this blog.

Here are the three hair situations...

1. Thad - If I didn't recognize the shower curtain in the background, I would assume that the first picture was of my dad. Thad received the "second-born-son-Bishop" hair gene. You can figure it out. Thad agreed with me that of the four kids, we both got screwed in the hair department.

2. Erica - Erica's hair has always been beautiful. I loved it curly. I loved it short. I loved it long and straight. I've been trimming her hair recently, and last week she asked me to cut off a considerable amount (approximately a foot). I took off a little more than she asked for but it looks super cute. The above picture is the shot after my latest haircut.

3. Scott - The military has very strict hair rules. Scott has kept his hair short for over twenty years since he was in the Air Force. Now that he's retired, he's letting it grow. Every week or so, I receive a picture documenting his hair growth. This one was the latest. I'm pretty sure I replied to this text with the following comment: "Yikes."

Not 30 Yet

Today is Nathan's 29th birthday, and I've already heard him say to someone on the phone, "I feel old." I'm just a few months younger than Nathan, and the one thing that always makes me feel old is my hair. So in order to make Nathan feel a little younger, I've decided to write a post about my gray. This is perfect because I'm getting it colored this week so right now it's at its worst.

Nathan is just now getting his first gray hairs which he blames on stress. I think I found my first gray in early high school. I ignored them at first, but soon I had to start covering them because of the extreme contrast between the white and my natural dark hair. They also have a wiry texture and stick up all over my head. It began with carefully placed highlights in college. The grays just blended with the caramel colored streaks. In Auburn, I had to get serious. Since we watched our money carefully, I colored my hair myself.

I'm proud to say that I had only one coloring disaster. I went too dark once with a box of color that was on sale (hint - hair color goes on sale for a reason) and the resulting color was a jet black/blue. Yikes. Re-colored it the same night, and it was okay. Still noticeable the next day at school but okay. I remember students staring. I also remember Tiffany not speaking a word about it until lunch and here's what I remember her saying. "I've been thinking about your hair all morning, and I've come to a decision. It suits you." I'm still not sure if that was the truth, but I've never been one to stress about my hair.

Another memory about my hair involved Nathan's Grandmother Lucy who has the prettiest white hair ever. I'm pretty sure this incident started the highlighting/coloring. Nathan and I were in college, and his family was in town. We all went to Joseph Beth, my favorite book store, to browse and maybe to eat at the seafood restaurant downstairs. I grabbed a book from the New Release shelf and found a bench. Nathan's grandmother came up behind me and said in a very sad way, "Oh, Lyndsey." I turned around and looked at her, and she said (again, very sadly), "You've got gray hair." Yes. Yes I do. She had never seen my hair from that angle before. Must have been pretty bad.

My mom would call my two years as a red-head a "coloring disaster," but I liked it. Now I'm back to dark brown. When Nathan graduated from vet school, I said I wanted two things. 1) I never wanted to live in a trailer again. 2) I wanted to pay someone to color my hair. Check and check. I love the girl that does my hair...we went to high school together. I go every four to five weeks to cover the mess I've documented below. People don't believe me when I say I'm gray. Seriously, my hair is gray. I told my mom that I was going to strip the color from it, chop it off, and go salt and pepper. She just said, "Lyndsey. You can't do that. You're not even thirty."

My siblings all have dark brown hair. Not. One. Gray. WTF? I shouldn't complain about Thad because he shaves his head clean. Scott (my brother who is fourteen years older than me) once made the mistake of complaining about a gray hair to me. Really? I like to think I have one gray hair for every time someone said to me - You must be Scott/Erica/Thad's sister.

So, to my husband and all my buddies who feel old (even though we are not) - here's a nice picture to cheer you up.

I'm Best Friends With a Famous Author...

Last year during my nine snow days, I discovered the author Jen Lancaster. A girl I met at a bunco party mentioned her so I checked out her first memoir - Bitter is the New Black. I've read all of her books now, and her blog is the only one I follow with any devotion. (www.jennsylvania.com) She cracks me up. NO ONE has followed my advice to read these books. They are hilarious...Jen says out loud everything we're thinking but are too embarrassed to admit. Her memoirs cover her downward spiral into unemployment in Chicago while trying to maintain her lifestyle of Prada and David Yurman - her attempt to lose weight even though at her largest she would comment, "Damn, I look good" - her timeline of fashion choices and the memories associated with those clothes - her crazy neighbors and their shenanigans in Chicago - and her attempts to give up reality TV for her Jen-aissance (get it? Jen + Renaissance). I fell in love with her when she said she wanted to grow up to be Lucille Bluth. (If you don't understand this, run and purchase Arrested Development.) Here are her first four books. Her best chapter ever is one where she describes how much she hates Rachel Ray and her perky boobs. The first page of her book on weight loss says the following:

Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. - A Weight Watchers Axiom

Weight Watchers can kiss the fattest part of my ass. - A Jen Lancaster Axiom

Soooo, this summer I decided to email her even though the possibility of a reply was non-existent. But last Friday night I was at home alone watching Project Runway on the computer (BTW - Jen would love that I was watching that) when I checked my AOL. She replied! Months later, Jen sent me an email! Here's my original email and her response. I'm waiting for it to be posted to her blog, but I thought my blog would do for now.

Hey Jen - love your books! You probably won't read this but I had to send an email about shopping at Books A Million tonight.

I was roaming the aisles of BAM tonight when I stumbled upon stacks of Bitter on a table in the center of the store. I thought it was strange because this store only gets a few copies of your books when they are released. Upon closer inspection, I found that the table was labeled "New Classics." This made me smile and giggle a bit.

Soon you'll be on required reading lists for schools across America. Best. Class. Ever.

Thanks for your books...they always make me laugh!

Sincerely,
Lyndsey in Kentucky

Lyndsey,

New Classics?! Ha!!

Have you ever seen the movie Idiocracy?! It shows our future civilization as a place where my books WOULD be required reading!

Thanks for writing and giving me my laugh of the day!

Best,

Jen

Ummm...yes.

Watch the new trailer!